The beautiful creature

外語文學翻譯或外語文學創作
每日限貼兩篇

版主: 麵糰仔

In the deep, dark night,
there is a maiden, bathing in the clear spring.
River of her hair,
strangles her,
the beautiful creature.
The Creator is passing by, and sees this maiden.
The beautiful creature.
Wondering to give her a name.
Moonlight glows, and wind flows.
Then a name pops in. Celena, he repeats and says
My love will last. So will the moon and my mind.
sharline1031 寫:In the deep, dark night,
there is a maiden, bathing in the clear spring.
River of her hair,
strangles her,
the beautiful creature.
The Creator is passing by, and sees this maiden.
The beautiful creature.
Wondering to give her a name.
Moonlight glows, and wind flows.
Then a name pops in. Celena, he repeats and says
My love will last. So will the moon and my mind.
Not a big fan of Greek mythology myself, but this one's okay.
I don't get that why her hair 'strangles' her. Any explanation?
Is she still alive or not?

The phrase 'pop in' seems odd.

Overall, the poem is ideal, mysterious, and illogical/dramatic.
The scene is vivid, though I'm not sure I like what I see.

Good try!